*TRIGGER WARNING* -Eating Disorder- If you're in need of support now: >> National Eating Disorders Support: Get Support Here
Hi, my name is Brie and I'm recovering from an eating disorder......I officially restarted this journey two weeks ago.
This has been an ongoing cycle from eating well to not eating at all. I have probably had it since, I was in Highschool, but at that time I didn't see it that way. I thought an eating disorder meant that you didn't eat at all, but I didn't recognize that I actually had it until I came into adulthood. Actually many people knew about it before I did. It got to the point that my parents would ask me if I ate. Many times I would say yes, but I didn't tell them that I was restricting the amount. I have actually spent a few times eating my food under their surveillance. (I do not blame them as I would skip some meals if I wasn't supervised.)
My fears and stress got the best of me and unfortunately, I took it out on myself. In this episode -- I share with you a part of my story and where some of this came from.
If you or someone you know is suffering from an eating disorder-- please click the link: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/help-support
🎧 Click to Listen: Unfiltered III
In this episode, I didn't go in with notes or a perfect plan of how I was going to share my struggles with eating/nutrition. I wanted it to be so raw and genuine, but at the same time I still feel like I missed sharing important parts, but maybe that is what the Unfiltered series is all about. Sharing with you what is happening in the now.
What is wild is that it wasn't like my job wasn't accommodating or telling me not to take breaks-- they actually begged me to take breaks. I just became so fixated on going from point A to B and that nutrition could wait.
I did not realize that I fell off the wagon until 3 days before I was headed home to see family + friends for the 4th of July. I got very sick and I could not work because I was so dizzy. I know when I haven't eaten because, I start to feel foggy and it feels like the words are coming out of my mouth, but everything is in slow motion. I feel like my reflexes are slower and I can't think correctly.
I shared with all of you that after I heard Katie's episode that I instantly booked with her so that she could be my stress management + nutritionist coach. As well as a form of accountability coach. I know myself well enough to know that doing it alone wasn't enough and asking my husband to take this on, seemed unfair. He has helped me in more ways than I can count and as much as he loves loving me, I knew that I needed an outside form of help.
This new path truly started this week. We met prior to my vacation and she gave me so many good things, but I was headed home. So, Right now I have a food journal with 3 entries and that includes today. Due to this, I really cannot give you much of a report on how this recovery is going because it really hasn't been that long.
In ways, I was worried that by sharing this I will be looked at differently-- Will I be under more surveillance by more people on what I am eating. Will I let people down? They say not to worry about what others think, but is that something we can fully do? I feel like I fail hard at that.
They're so many reasons why I am sitting here today re-evaluating my health. I couldn't really pinpoint it in this episode down to all of it, because for more than half of my life, I have struggled off and on with this. Since this episode has come out -- I have had so many beautiful souls reach out, and I want to let you know I am thankful for your vulnerability. Thank you for showing me I am not alone -- and Thank you for your support.
>> RESOURCES FOR SUPPORT:
Watch the video below where Tanya discusses the link between Anxiety + Nutrition on The Bolster Way here: Click to watch the link between Anxiety + Nutrition >>> Next part of this series will be on The Bolster Way FB page. The Bolster Way
Listen to the Stress Management Podcast episode with Katie: Stress Management with Katie
National Eating Disorders Support: Get Support Here
I leave this post with my new favorite song/mantra: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0v30jKH958
Sometimes I'm shy, and I'm anxious
Sometimes I'm down on my knees
Sometimes I try to embrace all my insecurities
So I won't wear makeup on Thursday
'Cause who I am is enoughAnd there are many things that I could change so slightly
But why would I succumb to something so unlike me?
I was always taught to just be myself
Don't change for anyone